Pudge

One of Stephen's sisters, Jessica, is expecting her first baby in May. She posted a picture of her pregnant self on myfamily.com (a website Stephen's family uses to post news and pics and just keep in touch with each other). Jessica mentioned how much she has never loved her body more than she does now. Her mom (my Mother-in-law, who raised 8 children) responded with this:

"I remember once a long time ago being sick as a dog and nice hot bath to help me relax and thinking as I looked at myself lying there in the tub...how much I liked my pudgy little body and how many good things it had done for me, not the least of which was produce all these children. And I felt such affection for my
little body...how fast it ran, how many trees it climbed, how many times it carried and nurtured and
delivered sweet little babies, how much work it has done over the years.
Verda Risenmay is in the nursing home, not likely ever to come out. I see her and her shriveled little body and think how many years she has lived and how hard she has worked....now she is just so tired. I guess we'll get that way too,but how nice it is to contemplate having a resurrected body someday. And it will be this very body that I am quite attached to and so grateful for."

Isn't this perspective just so refreshing?! Sometimes our society is so confused - people think we need to look a certain way to feel good about ourselves - and if we don't, well, there are all kinds of solutions to that. If we just get this surgery or that hairstyle or those clothes, then we will feel confident in our own skin! But I just think this gets us chasing after the wrong thing, and we'll never feel totally satisfied.

I just love how she found "affection" for her body because of the GOOD it had done for her! Sometimes I think I get distracted by pudge and stretch-marks and sags and wrinkles (yes I have them all, in case you're wondering) that I don't see my body for what it is -- a vehicle to do good. And THAT is how I can really love the skin I am in -- pudge and all.

Hello Spring!

Spring doesn't officially start till Sunday, but it felt like it began today.  It was in the 50s, the birds were chirping away and it was just so beautiful and sunny!  Stephen took a break from practicing for a couple of  hours at lunchtime and we spent a good part of the day together outside.  Jonathan LOVES being in the great outdoors!  As soon as we stepped out the door, he started spontaneously laughing and squealing with excitement.  You had to be there.  It was hilarious.  I think he's just as excited as we are that SPRING IS FINALLY UPON US!!!!

Here are some pics we took to document the occasion:

Notice the FIVE teeth.  My baby's growing up...sigh

Ok, so he's cheating a little trying to do a pull-up...

King of the playground

Oh, and here's the 5k pics I couldn't figure out how to add before (I was using my Dell -- only worked on Stephen's Mac. -- why do Macs always have to win??)  

The BEFORE shot 

The AFTER shot (just to prove we were all still standing)
And no, I did not run the race with Jonathan in my arms.  I thought one baby in the belly was enough to lug around.
Also notice how we are a lot less cozy in the last pic -- Sweaty bodies do not attract.

Cutting teeth and running 5ks

The last couple of days have been tough.  Especially yesterday.  Jonathan has been crying sort of constantly -- basically inconsolable.  He has had a cold, and has been coughing a lot, and I had been attributing his fussiness to that.  But then just a couple hours ago I noticed ANOTHER tooth sticking out on his top gums!  Poor boy has cut three teeth in the last week!  And it looks like a fourth is close behind.  Ouch! That has got to hurt!

Maybe also contributing to his emotional state is the fact that he misses his Daddy -- Stephen's been out of town since last Thursday.  Bleh.  But he comes home tonight!

Is that normal to cut so many all at once?  I'll google it.

In other news....

I ran a "homemade" 5k this last Saturday! -- a friend of mine organized the run for fun, which means we didn't have to pay an entry fee or anything :)  That is why I've not ran a race up till now -- I'm too cheap to be willing to fork over $30 when I could just go out and run for free!  I know, I know...the runs are always for good causes but still!

Anyway, this "5k" race was actually only 3.0 miles.  The first half was basically all down hill.  Nice, except the finish line was the same as the starting line so that means the second half was basically ALL uphill.  And the final stretch was REALLY steep.

Anyway, there were 7 of us running...and I tied for first!  Boo-yah!  But once you hear my time you won't be so impressed...30 minutes.  I was hoping to beat ten-minute miles but I think the mile and half of all uphill at the end did me in.  I was going pretty slow at some points.  Oh well.  I was proud of all of us for doing it!  We're planning another one in 4 weeks!  At that point I'll be over 27 weeks pregnant - 6 1/2 months.  So we'll see if I can run much of it at all.

I need to just say something about the AWESOME friends I have here.  You know how it usually takes a long time to find your niche in a group of friends when you move somewhere new?  Well that has not been the case here.  The ward we moved into here is just so welcoming!  I have such a fun, supportive, caring group of friends here.  It will be so hard to leave them when we move.

For some reason I'm having trouble downloading the pictures we took of us before and after the 5k.  I'll post them later if I can figure it out...

What to do, what to do...

Stephen's out of town again.  Baby is in bed.  And I am so. bored.

First-time Mom syndrome

I mentioned in the last post that Jonathan is learning to walk.  I know that falling comes with the territory, so I've gotten used to little bruises and bumps.  But today he took falling to a whole 'nother level.  And I became totally hysterical.

Normally he just walks between the two of us, or from whatever he's leaning up against to one of us.  That way we're there to catch him if he falls in the process.  Sometimes though, he gets ambitious and tries to take off walking AWAY from us.  I don't let him because then I'm worried he'll hurt himself falling.  This morning, he took off in the other direction and I thought, "you know, I guess I gotta let him try sometime right?"  So on my knees, I moved beside him as he tried walking.  He had only gone a few feet when he fell towards the side I was not on, and hit his forehead against the corner of our walls.  I picked him up immediately and he had a huge blue INDENT in his forehead an inch and a half long.  His owies have never looked like this before.  He was screaming and I started crying because I didn't know what to do.  I wondered if the indent was because his skull had split or something.  I know, stupid...but I DON'T KNOW!  What if???  

I thought, "I need to call Stephen!  He'll tell me what to do!"  I frantically searched for my phone but in my hysterical state of mind couldn't think straight to remember where it was.  I finally found it and called Stephen, trying to explain to him through my own sobbing and Jonathan's screaming in my arms what had happened.  He said to call my Doctor.  Ok, duh, that makes sense.  For some reason though my first instinct is I NEED STEPHEN!  So I called him first when, really, what on earth can he do a mile away at the university?  

I called our Dr and they weren't in yet.  The receptionist told me to go to the emergency room if I felt he needed immediate attention.  HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW IF HE NEEDS IMMEDIATE ATTENTION???  I'm not a Doctor!  I'm a first-time mom who's never dealt with this before!  

But then after about ten minutes of crying, Jonathan started to calm down and the indent on his forehead started to go away.  And before I know it, he's acting totally like himself again -- like nothing had happened.  Ok, I think, this must me a good sign.  Then when I'm finally starting to calm down A LITTLE, I go to call Stephen again to tell him that I think things are going to be ok (last time I had talked to him I was freaking out), but Stephen had texted me and says that he's running home and is almost there.  Great.  I am feeling really stupid at this point, realizing that I'm pretty sure I totally overreacted.  Stephen has an awful cold and is now RUNNING home in freezing temperatures to be here to help us.  

I called my mom and told her what happened and how he was acting afterwards, and she thinks it doesn't sound like he had a concussion or anything.  She had seven kids and dealt with countless medical emergencies, so I'm feeling much better at this point. 

I'm not sure I'm cut out for this.  And by this I mean the part of motherhood that demands we deal with our children's medical emergencies.  It's just. SO. SCARY.  

If I could barely cope with this, how on earth will I cope when on of my children:

(all the following did in fact happen to at least one of my siblings)

-Gets a finger CUT OFF in a door -- happened to TWO of my siblings

- has their HEAD wedged between the car tire and the rocky cement driveway as the car rolls down the hill, almost running over her head. 

-breaks arms or legs

-gets in very serious car accidents resulting in severe injury or death

Ok, I need to stop writing that list.  I don't think it's helping me any to dwell on this anymore than I have already.  

So what can I do?  Well, I've read different emergency pamphlets on how to help children when things happen.  But would I be able to remain calm enough to remember that stuff?  

I need to take a class.  Maybe that way it will be more ingrained.   

I still feel so shaken up.

A little update

Jonathan is turning 11 months at the end of the week!  I'm so close to having a 1-year old!  He has being learning like crazy lately.  A week after posting about army crawling, he started crawling for real.   The big news now, as of YESTERDAY,  is....He's taking steps!  Several at a time.  Stephen and I sit about five feet apart and he walks the distance between the two of us.  We weren't sure if we could call it "walking", but last night some friends stopped by and witnessed him in action and they thought it counted for sure.   He has a long ways to go before he will be walking around by himself without needing us to be around to catch him when he falls, but so far so good!

Last week, his top two teeth cut through.  They were bulging underneath the skin for over a month -- FINALLY they made their appearance. 

A few things Jonathan loves:

- bath time

- reading books (we spend a good 20-30 minutes at a time reading together before he gets tired of it)

- crawling around with Mommy and Daddy

- walking.  He HATED being on his belly and learning to crawl, but he's always loved to be on his feet and practice walking.  That's probably one reason why he learned to crawl so late, but is walking earlier.

- being outside.  From the time he was a newborn, the outdoors would always calm him down when he was fussy.  He's still the same way.  He loves to take walks outside.  Unfortunately, it's been so cold lately that we don't spend as much time outdoors as we would like to.  We're anxious for spring to come!

- Spending time with Daddy. Whenever Stephen comes home from school Jonathan gets SO excited.  They love spending time together.  

- Spend time jumping, but mostly SPINNING actually, in his Johnny Jump-up

- This next one's maybe his FAVORITE thing to do: Play with electronics - our cell phones, ipod speaker set, TV, but most especially our computers.  Unfortunately, he messes the keys up on our computers and drools on it, so we don't let him touch the computers anymore.  He goes CRAZY whenever he sees one open and moves faster than he ever does to get to it before we can close it.  And then when we do, he gets SO angry and throws tantrums (I had no idea that babies under 1 threw tantrums, but he totally does).  So now we only use our computers in rooms where is ISN'T.  It saves all of us a lot of grief.  

Jonathan's at such a fun age.  It's hard to imagine it getting any better than this.  We have so much fun playing around with him and laughing with him and watching him learn and grow.   

Here are a few pics we took of him last week:

Enough about Jonathan.  Let's talk about me :)

I'm 23 weeks on Thursday.   I feel like I've been showing for weeks now.  But no one else thought I was till the last week or so.  I think my belly's grown a lot recently.  Here's a pic:

This first pregnant shot was a mistake.  I didn't know Stephen was taking it - he was just checking lighting and stuff.  But I thought it was kinda cool how my face was out of focus so it focused on my belly.  So I posted it even though it's kinda funky.

This next one is the more typical, smiling-at-camera pregnancy pic.  These were both taken at 22 weeks 4 days.

At this point in my pregnancy last time, I weighed 20 pounds more than I weigh now!  Hopefully I'll be able to keep my weight gain to 25-30 pounds this time.  Last time it was more like 50!  But if I eat as much and as badly as I was eating last week I will catch up to that 50 pounds for sure.  I've vowed to be better this week.

I've been running this pregnancy and I think that's helping a lot.  I'm gaining weight more slowly and I'm just feeling better in general.  I run 5 or 6 times a week.  Last week I ran 17.2 miles, divided between 5 days of running.  I'm curious to see how long I can keep it up.  

I'm running a cheater 5k (it's actually only 2.8 miles) this weekend with some friends.  My time will probably be embarrassing, but I'm looking forward to it!

Update on Stephen- he has been super busy lately with concerts.  He's had to have 5 different concert/recital programs ready within just 3 weeks.  That's HOURS worth of music.  He's been traveling a lot.  We miss him so much when he's gone!  Sometimes I do ok, but other times I end up eating too much and feeling lonely.  But this last week he had a recital in the Berkshires which is up by Boston and we got to go with him since it was so close :)

Boy #2!!!!

Here's the story:  So three weeks ago we had an an ultrasound.  There were two technicians there (one was in training) and they both thought it was a girl.  But they were only "80 % sure" they said.  Apparently "her" legs were crossed and she had her hand over her jewels.

Stephen and I had been thinking all along it was probably a girl so this confirmed what we'd been thinking and we've been certain in the meantime that it really was a girl.

Well, we went in today for an ultrasound again.  The first one was a little early for them to get a good look at the heart.  We were hoping this time we'd get a confirmation of what we already knew -- that it was indeed a girl.  

When the technician announced it was a boy and gave ample proof of the same, we were absolutely FLOORED.  I asked her three times I think, "Are you SURE?"  She was.  And the evidence was unmistakable this time.

Oh my gosh.

We're SO excited to welcome another little boy into our family. :)