Isaac at 1 month

It's hard for me to find time to blog lately....I'm sure you can imagine why.  But things are going well mostly.  Just busy.  Stephen and I agree that the transition from 1 to 2 children has been easier thus far than the transition from 0 to 1.  I'm not sure if that's because Isaac is just an "easier" baby, or if it's because we know better what to expect this time around.

We sure love our little Isaac.  I just love looking into his big eyes and feeling pure love and feeling every care in the world just melt away.  I love cuddling him against my chest (I love how newborns don't have the strength to push away yet :)) and feeling him breathe next to me and being in awe of the miracle of life.  

The biggest challenge has been what I think it usually is with having a newborn -- functioning on minimal sleep.  And not just to function but be patient and kind despite the fact that getting little sleep makes me not-so-patient and kind.  Some days go better than others...  

Here are some pics of Isaac we took today on his 1 month mark.

Baby Isaac's Birth Story

I started having contractions Sunday morning around 12:30 am.  I wasn't sure if they were the REAL contractions yet, so I tried to go to sleep as to not get my hopes up for the millionth time and then be disappointed.  I couldn't sleep, partly out of excitement and partly due to the pain...  I laid in bed for an hour wide awake, still not sure.  Finally I started timing them, and was DELIGHTED to discover that they were about 6-8 minutes apart consistently, lasting about 30-40 seconds!  I was starting to let myself believe that this could be it!  It continued on this way till about 3:30, which is when Stephen woke up and asked how I was doing and I told him the news!  I told him to go back to sleep because we weren't going to the hospital anytime soon (I wanted to be at home as long as possible and I wasn't in very much pain at all yet), but he couldn't.  Contractions kept coming till about 4 when they started to peter off.  They got further and further between until I didn't notice them at all.  We were SO disappointed.  I think Stephen even more so than I.

The rest of the day we were just hoping and praying that things would start up again.  At about 2 I went on a run, hoping that that might get things going.  I got lots of contractions on the run, but then nothing when I stopped.  When I got back from my run and the contractions stopped, I decided to call my midwife and schedule an induction the next morning.  I didn't really want to be induced but my mom was on her way here from WA (she took off driving that morning because she was certain after I had had regular contractions that morning I was going to have the baby soon...) and I was already past my due date and...well, I just thought I would schedule it and then if I wanted to change my mind, I could.  So I called at about 3:30 and set up an appointment for that night to come in at 6:30 and get a cervix softener and then they would start me on Pitocin the next morning if the softener hadn't gotten things going on its own.  While I was on the phone talking to my midwife, I started noticing that I was getting some crampy contractions.  After hanging up, I started timing them and they were about 6 minutes apart!  This was about 45 minutes after the run.  So I think it may have helped, but you really never know.

Anyway, we started getting ready to go to the hospital and my contractions started coming about 2 1/2 - 3 minutes apart, which was worrying me because I thought I had read that that was close together.  But they were only 40 seconds long or so, and they weren't super painful so I didn't really know what to think.  I didn't want a repeat of my sister Ciana's experience of giving birth in the car on the way to the hospital...but I figured the pain would be the best indicator of how close I was and I wasn't in a lot of pain -- I could still talk through my contractions easily.

We ended up getting to the hospital at 6:15, about the time we would have anyway had we been showing up for the induction!  Instead though I was coming IN labor, not needing to be induced anymore!  I was really grateful it worked out this way.

We were the ONLY folks in the hospital having a baby the whole night.  We had the whole place and all the nurses all to ourselves.  I loved it.

By the time we got to the hospital, I was dilated to a 1 only and the contractions had started to get really painful.  At about 7:00, I couldn't talk through the contractions anymore -- it was more like MOANING through the contractions.  They were already 2 minutes apart and a minute or so long.  At about 7:30 I was asking for an epidural, but they said they needed to check me to make sure I was progressing before they could drug me.  They did and I was at a 3!  So they gave me an epidural at about 8:00, unfortunately botching the first one, then having to stick me again.  Not a big deal though.  I was SO happy when the pain started to go away :) :)

Things continued to progress quickly...I was at a 7 by 9:30ish, then at a 9 by 11:00, and by 12:15 or so I was fully dilated!  I started pushing sometime after 12:30 and had been pushing for 15 minutes or so when, with one push, he suddenly popped out, even before he had crowned.  Unfortunately this meant that I tore before the midwife was able to ease the baby out.  Dang.  I was hoping not to have to deal with recovering from stitches this time...

After about 20 minutes or so of pushing, Isaac was born at 12:57 am on July 11th -- that's 7/11/11 -- pretty cool birth date!

I love that moment when you meet your baby for the first time.  There are no words to describe it.

He wasn't crying at first so I started to get a little worried.  I thought my midwife and the nurses seemed a bit worried too.  I kept asking if he was ok and they kept reassuring me that he was.  But they were sucking the goo out of his throat and rubbing his back to get him to cry.  After a few seconds that felt like eternity, he started crying and I knew all was well.

One of my first impressions when I saw him was that he looked NOTHING like Jonathan -- different nose, VERY different mouth and lips, and super skinny.  And turned out he was skinnier than Jonathan - Jonathan was 20.5 inches long and weighed 8lbs2oz, Isaac was 21 inches long and weighed 7lbs5oz.  I did think that Isaac felt smaller in my belly, but it's was strange since he came overdue and Jonathan came almost 2 weeks early.

All in all, I was really happy with how things turned out as far as the labor and deliver went.  And we were so grateful to be able to bring home a healthy baby boy.

We are totally and completely smitten with our little Isaac.

Isaac Fielding Beus

Isaac Fielding Beus

Born at 12:57 am Monday morning July 11th, 2011 (4 days past due date)

Weight: 7 lbs 5 oz

Height: 21 inches

Birth story soon to follow...

Jonathan

I'm still pregnant, in case you're wondering.  And feeling pretty good actually.  My due date is this Thursday.  I keep wondering if every little cramp or pain is the beginning of THE contractions.  It's such a weird place to be in.  Part of me hopes it will happen soon, and part of me is scared to death it might happen too soon.  I had an appointment on Friday and was 80% effaced but still closed.  Before checking me, my midwife said that if I was dilated, she could strip my membrane and try to get things going.  Up till then I thought I couldn't wait for this baby to come out, but when she said that my heart stopped and I thought, "Wait, that's too soon maybe!"  I just feel like I'm going to be forever in pregnancy limbo and it's hard to really grasp that pregnancy is a means to an end -- that the reality of the situation is an actual, living, breathing, demanding and unbelievably sweet baby is going to be lying in my arms in a matter of days.  Maybe hours, who knows?   

Anyway....

I just wanted to post a few pics of Jonathan and write a few updates on him before the next baby comes because Baby 2 may steal the show for a few weeks...

Jonathan's almost 15 months now.  He is such a happy boy lately.  I feel like since he started walking his temperament has really changed a lot.  He just seems more content.  We've been having so much fun with him.  Right outside our front door is a huge park area and he loves to run around outside as often as we are willing to take him out.  We live close to a few different hospitals so we have a helicopter flying over us every few minutes. And we live 15 minutes from the airport so we also have lots of airplanes passing by, too.  

Jonathan is always quick to hear them and stops what he's doing to watch.  Here's a pic where we caught him in the moment:

It also kind of looks like he's seeing a vision :)

Our new place is also RIGHT NEXT to a train track. Bad news is it's pretty loud.  Only a problem at night.  We can't open the windows while we're trying to sleep or else we are woken up every time a train passes, which is not infrequent.  GOOD NEWS is that Jonathan loves the trains.  He calls them "choo-choos".  It's so darn cute.

This is him playing right outside our door in the dirt.  He sits there for 30 minutes at a time just putting dirt in the bowls, stirring it around with a spoon, dumping it out, and starting over again.  I bring a book with me while I watch him because I get pretty bored with the repetition.  Isn't it so funny how babies get so obsessed with something and can repeat that activity ad infinitum?  I'm so fascinated by watching him learn and explore and wonder what on earth is going on in his head.  He's also obsessed with light switches, microwaves, computers, phones, his toy fire truck... really anything with buttons or switches. 

And he also LOVES to sweep, or he tries to at least.  From the time he was just a few months old, he would always stare intently at me was I swept the floor.  Once he could walk, he was excited to get in on the action.  He walks around the house for 20-30 minutes at a time just moving the broom around the floor.  I can't understand why this is SO fascinating to him -- what is he trying to accomplish?  It's so interesting to me to watch him so intent on this activity.

Do you remember me blogging about this rubber chicken?  

Jonathan used to be so scared of it.  When you squeeze it, it SHRIEKS in a really awful way.  Now Chicken is one of Jonathan's best friends.  In fact, Jonathan can only say a few words, and "chicken" is one of them.  He's says it surprisingly well, too!  The other words he says are "Dadda", "again" (sounds more like "uh-nuh") and "choo-choo".  He has been stringing together lots of other vowels and consonants that sound like words but he doesn't seem to know how to use them.  But he is understanding so much now.  It's such a fun stage.

Here are a couple cute smiles:  

This is him right after he threw a tantrum because Daddy wouldn't let him play with his nice camera.  He was finally calming down here but you can tell he's still flushed from the exertion of it all.  I just thought he looked so handsome so I posted it :)  I love his blue eyes and toe-head blonde hair.  

In our Stony Brook apartment, we didn't have room for a rocker or glider.  We bought a glider at a garage sale for $8 a week or so after moving here and we love having it in Jonathan's room.  We rock him and sing to him for 10-15 minutes before his naps and bedtime.  He loves it.  Honestly, they're some of my favorite moments of the day.  He just lays his head on my chest and hugs his little teddy named Gregory as I sing to him.  When I finish a song, he immediately looks up at me and says "uh-nuh" which means he wants me to sing another song.  I can't even explain how precious it is.  Pure love.

Here he fell asleep as I was rocking and singing to him and Stephen came in and snapped a picture.  

The Big Move

Oh my gosh.  Where do I begin?  It's been a while since I posted.  A lot has happened in the last month and a half.  Still waiting for A LOT more to happen in the next couple of weeks...

A few updates on our lives since the beginning of May:

I went home to WA for Angelica's funeral and to be with family.  All of my siblings except for Kashann were able to come.  It really was a beautiful experience.  It made me ponder more on my belief that families can be together forever and how much I want that.

While I was in WA, Stephen was finishing up his classes and then flew to the Czech Republic for four different recitals in and around Prague.  He was there 10 days.  Then he flew home, packed the rest of our stuff into our car, then drove to UT to our new home.  We were apart for three full weeks. We missed each other desperately.   It was so sweet to see Jonathan reunited with his Daddy.  It takes Jonathan awhile to warm up to other people and I wondered if he would forget who Stephen was and not want to go to him at first.  I was relieved to see that was not at all the case.  He was SO happy to be with his Daddy again.  In fact, he clung to Stephen and would not come back to me.  Even though it was 10:00 at night, WAY past his bedtime, Jonathan was SO hyper for the next hour, playing excitedly with his Daddy.  They are two peas in a pod.

Our new townhome we're renting is in Woods Cross, UT.  We love it.  THREE TIMES bigger than our apartment in Stony Brook, much nicer and the same price :)  We're happy to have left behind east-coast prices.

The last few weeks have been so great.  We have enjoyed being all together again.  Stephen has taken off most of the summer so he can be home when the baby comes.  He practices about 4 hours a day, on OUR piano IN our home.  He's home all day and I LOVE it.  Although he does start to think he knows more about cooking and housekeeping than I do...I frequently get some piece of advice or warning from the piano as he practices and watches me at work...something like, "Did you set the timer for that bread?" or "Don't you think it would be a good idea to take mix the granola so it cooks evenly?"  He's SO helpful :)

I'm also happy to report that I've finally made my foray into gardening, independent of my mother.  After convincing Stephen that $40 dollars was worth it, I purchased two pots, some soil and six plants (2 basil, 1 thyme, 1 rosemary, 2 cherry tomato).  I'm not sure I can call it "gardening" when I'm growing them from pots but at least it is something!  And as silly as this may sound to you folks who have acres of garden, I have found so much satisfaction over tending these little plants.  I planted them a week ago, and they are starting to look bigger!  Who would have thought?!  It was NEVER this exciting when I was little and slaved away in my family's garden.

A couple days ago it got really hot, and we looked outside to find our basil plants totally wilted and looking hopeless.  I should explain that the pots we bought are self-watering -- we fill up the bottom compartment with water and then the water is SUPPOSED to travel up in the dirt by osmosis and give the plant all the water it needs -- not too much, not too little.  So anyway, we had been filling this dutifully every day.  When we saw the state of our basil, the only thing we could figure is that for some reason the watering system wasn't working, so we poured a bunch of water on the plants.  In about an hour, we went and check on them again to discover that an absolute miracle had taken place -- the basil had perked right up and was full and beautiful again.  Growing stuff is so much fun!

I digress...

The last thing to report on:  I am still very pregnant.  We're 12 days from my due date.  Jonathan was born 12 days early.  So it's hard not to HOPE that things will happen very soon.  But I don't think we'll be that lucky this time around.

For the life of us we cannot settle on a name for this boy.  We have being tossing around the same 5 or so names for months now and don't feel any closer than when we started.  At this point, my only hope is that he will be born wearing a nametag because that might be what it will take for us to finally decide.  People have told us that they went into the hospital with a couple of possible names and then when they laid eyes on their baby for the first time they "just knew".  We're banking on this happening.  I don't want to be panicking last minute as we sign the birth certificate.

At this point in my pregnancy, I'm down to running a mile at a stretch before I stop to walk.  I've gained HALF the weight I gained with my first pregnancy, thank you very much.  And I have been so much healthier and feel so much better.  I haven't had carpel tunnel (had that for the last 3 months of my first preg), I'm not bloated (I was a MARSHMELLOW last time), I am still sleeping really well, my wedding ring still fits, I have more energy, and just feel more fit in general.

BUT I am SO SICK of the scale.  I weigh myself almost every day to make sure I don't let things get out of hand before I realize it.  It helps me stay accountable.  But lately I just wanna eat what I wanna eat and stop being accountable!  It would be really stupid though to lose sight of my goal now and then gain 10 lbs in the last week of my pregnancy.  Trust me, that totally could happen.  We have four half gallons of Tillamook ice cream in the freezer right now (it was on sale).  It totally could happen.  So I just need to hang in there till the bitter end...and then lose all the pregnancy weight...sigh.  I guess the scale is not going to get to go away for a long time.

Sweet Angelica

Angelica passed away peacefully this morning.  Here is a link to my sister's blog.  Her husband wrote about the incident.

peterandcandice.blogspot.com

Thank you to everyone who have been praying for them throughout this experience.  The Lord really answered our prayers.  This has turned out to be such a beautiful and tender experience for our family.

We love you little Angelica.  I look forward to meeting you someday!

Updates on Angelica from my parents

Candice and Peter took Angelica home yesterday afternoon.  Yesterday, I talked to Candice on the phone and she said that the Dr had come in before they were released to answer questions on how to take care of Angelica on their own and what to expect.  The Dr began explaining how there may come a time when Angelica starts turning an ashy color and that this means she's not getting enough oxygen and may even stop breathing all together.  While the Dr was explaining this, Candice said she looked down at Angelica and noticed that she was starting to look sort of ashy right then.  She alerted the Dr and the Dr said that was exactly what she was talking about.  Then Angelica started turning more ashy, losing all pink, and turning sort of blue, and then stopped breathing entirely.  After just a short time, Candice said that Angelica suddenly gasped for air and resumed breathing again. Candice really felt comforted that this first scare came when the Dr was right by their side explaining what to expect.  She had been nervous to take Angelica home, but now that she sort of knew what to expect, she felt more confident.

Late last night, I got this text from my Dad:

"Mom and I are at the Denver airport.  We just heard from Candice and Peter.  It seems they had two more incidents where Angelica's system went into pause.  That would be the third time today.  Each time after a few minutes, she breathes again and color comes back to her complexion.  The last two times occurred after they left the hospital.  It is surreal in a way -- a somber yet peaceful scene.  The Lord has given them glimpses and moments of happiness and preparation for the ultimate separation.  Whenever it now comes, only the moment but not the event will catch them by surprise.  The tender mercies with which the Lord has tempered this most traumatic and unusual family advent are sweet to contemplate.  Candice was heard to say yesterday that she had just experienced the greatest day of her life.  Who would have thought it so?  Certainly we have witnessed miracles from the Lord.  We can be assured that the Lord is mindful of each of us, loves us, and desires to bless us.  His blessings will often come disguised, I suppose as a mortal test.  I hope these and other experiences help each of us grow in faith and trust in God as a result.  There will be other tests for each of us.  You can count on it though you would not seek them out, nor should you.  Peter probably did well on his annual finals but he and Candice have really shined where it mattered most.  I am so proud of each of them.  I know that whatever happens from here on out will be the will of the Lord."

My Mom texted me this this morning:

"We spoke with Peter this morning and Angelica had a good night.  No more episodes.  She drank from her bottle, filled some diapers and kept the shift of loving caregivers awake like all newborns do.  She is pretty and pink this morning.  She continues to amaze us all by beating the odds.  As the doctor said, 'There must be some higher power that is part of this family.'  Thanks for all your prayers.  Her parents have treasured every minute with this special angel."